I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
