Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize