I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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