I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
