is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize