i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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