I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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