You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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