If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
