I wannas sexs uuuuu
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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