I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
