There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
