It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fuck appropriateness.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
