you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
