he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
