Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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