i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
