I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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