I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
