if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
