Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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