If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
