I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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