Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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