if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
