Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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