just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
