I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
