look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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