fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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