the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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