I murdered the dance floor call the cops
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
