I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
