I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
