so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
40s are totally the cure
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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