Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
