break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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