literally had 100 drinks last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
