Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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