yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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