The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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