Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
