we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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