I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
