but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
