I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
