I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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