Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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