yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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