I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
