We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
