It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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