I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
