saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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