weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
