she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
