i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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