My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
