false alarm. still invincible.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
