I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
