he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
